Disappointments & Me Time

On Monday afternoon, I received a phonecall that left me feeling upset and disappointed. Thankfully, at the time, a good friend was here and she gave me a hug and we went out for coffee and shopping!

Then, on Monday evening, I read in my Word 4u 2day about the Roman soldier in Luke 7:9 where Jesus says:

"I've yet to come across this simple trust anywhere in Israel..." (NIV)

I was reminded that all I have to do is trust. But...that's easier said than done isn't it???

Yesterday afternoon, I decided that I would have some "me" time and sat myself down with my bible, journal, Word 4 u 2day, a good book, my phone on silent and a vanilla latte. During this time, I read Hosea 14 and verse 9 stood out to me.

"The LORDs ways are right. Good people live by following them, but those who turn against God die because of them." (NCV)

The part that stood out the most was "The LORDs ways are right." It reinforces what I read on Monday and the fact that in the face of disappointments, I need to continue to trust that God knows what he is doing.

I am learning that taking time out just to be me is invaluable for my relationship with God as it is during these times that I can hear him most clearly.

Looking Back!

I have recently begun to use my journal again having only journalled sporadically over the last few years. Last night, I spent some time looking back at what I had written previously and came across some notes I had journalled from my Word 4 U 2day back in November 2008.

It was referring to Numbers 17:5 where God appointed Aaron as the new leader for Israel. It pointed out 3 things:

1. Whose staff grew blossom - God doesn't pick his leaders because they're perfect. He sees potential qualities he can use to fulfil His purposes.
2. Where it blossomed - Certain things can only happen in God's presence. Sort out your priorities and set time to meet with God each day and stick to it.
3. When it blossomed - Your faith grows when you are going through hard and dark times rather than when everything is cool.

This really got me again last night when I read it as I realised that I don't need to be perfect for God to be able to use me...what a relief! God can use me where I am now if I make myself available to him, which leads in to the second point about where the stick blossomed. I am beginning a new adventure and am feeling very excited about it.

I will be setting aside time each day to spend with God but it will probably not be in the traditional way. I will be taking my bible, journal and camera out and about with me and will see what God wants to do through these times. I will try to use my camera to take photographs either relating to what God speaks to me about or just of something I feel makes a great photo.

I have found the third point to be true already and hope that as I grow in my relationship with God, my faith will grow all the more and that I will live in the knowledge that I am fulfilling God's purpose for my life.

I will also be blogging about what I am learning on this journey so please feel free to join me.

Long Time No Blog

Apologies for the lack of blog for the last couple of months, a lot has been happening and I have also lacked the inspiration for what I should write and wondering whether anyone really reads this and whether what I write is just being read or whether it is having an impact that I am unaware of.

Well anyway, I have decided that I will keep going with it.

Since I last blogged, I have been to the hospital twice. The first appointment, I felt, was a waste of time as the registrar said that the only cure for arthritis is a knee replacement and that I'm too young and he wasn't sure it would help anyway. I was then sent for X-rays and to wait for an appointment for an MRI scan. Another appointment was booked for the end of October.

The second appointment, was more successful. I saw the consultant who heads up the knee team and he is going to do whatever it takes to get my knee as good as possible, starting with a keyhole surgery in December to try to resurface the groove the kneecap tracks in as he thinks the problem is there from the chondroplasty I had done in 2007. If this doesn't work, then he is willing to do a knee replacement. So at last, it seems there is some light at the end of the tunnel and the day when I will be able to do things I used to be able to do is getting nearer.

In my last post, I mentioned about the positives I have found in having time to myself and not having to go to work. One of these is that I have been able to be there for a friend who has had a difficult time recently and had I been at work, I would not have been able to do this. God's timing is perfect and even if I don't know what he's doing, I just have to trust him, do my bit and then let him get on with his bit.

My routine has gone out of the window recently as I found it very restricting and was beginning to feel guilty if I did something that wasn't written on the sheet for that particular time, even if it was something that I really didn't need to feel guilty about such as fitting in meeting a friend for coffee instead of reading a book. This has led me to make the decision that I am no longer going to plan my days as rigidly.

As I said in my last post, my time is precious and I need to use it wisely, knowing my limitations and working within them but at the same time, aiming to bring glory to God in all that I do.