Stop!

At church on Sunday, Simon spoke about Sabbath and asked what it's relevance is today. He said that God created a rhythm to life - that there would be work and there would be rest. He asked the 'where do you need to re-find the rhythm of life? How do you spend your day? When do you cross the line and stop working?' He spoke about the need to make time in your day when you just stop.

I have been thinking about how this applies to my life as I am currently unable to work. So am I stopped all the time? No! I have appointments to go to, physio to do, hospital appointments to sort out etc. On Monday morning, before I'd even had a cup of tea, I'd started on my to-do list for the day.

Before my operation in 2007, I was working 40 hours a week in a busy HR department, was heading up the coffee team at church and often needed to be there early to drop off supplies or stand in if one of the team didn't turn up. In addition to this, I had day to day chores to get done including washing, ironing, shopping, cooking dinner, washing up, cleaning etc. Although my flat mate and I shared the cooking, cleaning and washing up. My life was busy!

Now, that has all changed, I have time to stop! But the temptation is there to fill the gaps. I think we all like to be busy as we feel that's how we're supposed to be.

A few months back, I started a routine (see post titled 'My New Routine'). I wouldn't switch my phone on, facebook, email, answer the phone until after 11am. This gave me time to stop and read my bible and spend time with God before I began my day. This routine seems to have got lost somewhere but I will be bringing it back again (as much as possible whilst I'm still on the tablets mentioned in previous post).

I have been thinking that perhaps I should look on all this free time as a God-given blessing and spend more time reading my bible and studying it, reading books and listening to podcasts etc as well as spending time meeting up with friends for coffee or days out.

Pain Clinic Visit = More Tablets

Nearly 2 weeks ago, I went up to London to visit the Pain Clinic at the Orthopaedic Hospital. The doctor I saw was very good and advised me that he thinks the problem with my knee is definitely a more mechanical problem than a pain problem so he advised that he would write a letter to the knee team explaining this.

In addition to this, he has put me on some new tablets which are to show whether the pain is neurological or actual because it I have had it for over a year, he said there is a possibility that my brain is making the pain worse than it actually is. He said that the tablets will either make the pain disappear or that the side effects will get too much and the pain will still be the same.

I started the tablets 2 weeks ago on Saturday (with the dosage increasing every 4 days) and so far, I've had only side effects, they have made no difference to the pain. The side effects have ranged from me feeling drowsy and spending most of the day sleeping to headaches and dizziness to lack of concentration to not knowing when I'll wake up (Tuesday I woke at 2:50pm and today it was 1:40pm - the other days this week, I was woken up early because I had something planned!).

I spoke to the hospital yesterday to find out when I could come off the tablets and they have advised that if I can stay on them for another 2 weeks, then it would be a meaningful trial. I wasn't too happy about this but will give it a go! On the up side, the doctor has written to the knee team so I should be hearing about an appointment in the near future.

Please pray that I will have the strength to keep going with the tablets (and side effects!!!) as well as patience whilst waiting to hear from the hospital.

2 Weeks by the Sea

Hey All!

Yes I am still here! I am still blogging!

Mum and I had a wonderful 2 weeks in Weymouth. The aim of our holiday was to take things easy and to take each day as it came. However, we did fit in visits to lots of really nice and fun places.

The highlights of the holiday for me were:

Weymouth Family Church - they were really welcoming and we had a great morning with them on both our Sundays. During the time we were there, they spoke on expecting the miraculous and community and on the first week, the leader of the church there asked if he could pray for my knee and although it wasn't healed at the time, we have since had some progress with regard to hospital appointments (more in my next post). We attended on both the Sundays we were in Weymouth and on the second Sunday, I even bumped in to the people that were the leaders of the Sunday evening student group at one of the churches in Plymouth when I was studying there.

Monkey World - we borrowed one of their mobility scooters which made life a lot easier for me and also made the day more enjoyable. It was a shame that it seemed most of the monkeys there wanted to play indoors rather than outside! I did get a few good photos of them though and it was a really lovely day out.

Brownsea Island - this was the furthest we travelled from Weymouth. We arrived at Poole Quay at about 11am and got the ferry across to the island. We borrowed a wheelchair from the visitor centre and off we went to explore the island but found that it would have been easier for me to explore on crutches as we struggled getting the wheelchair up the hill due to the gravel nature of the paths on the island! We found a nice green area in which to picnic and were accompanied by hens, noisy roosters and geese! The geese kept their distance but the hens and one of the roosters decided to come and investigate whether there was any food for them!

Corfe Castle & Swanage Railway - Dad arrived late on the Friday evening to spend the weekend with us, so it was important that on the Saturday, we did something that dad would enjoy. The decision was made that we would go to Corfe Castle. It is a castle ruin set on a hillside in Dorset. Mum and Dad climbed the hill to the castle but I stayed on the green. After lunch, we went on the Swanage Railway and got the steam train from the park and ride near Corfe Castle to Swanage and enjoyed the scenery along the way as well as taking in views from Swanage sea front.



Don't want to bore you with every detail of my holiday so, think this will do. Hope you enjoyed the pics too!

Update

I have this morning spoken to the orthopaedic hospital who have advised me that the consultant doesn't think he can do anything for my knee and so has referred me to a doctor in the pain clinic. I felt that I had no option but to accept this appointment and so will be travelling up to London on 10th July to see the pain management specialist.

I was hoping that by going to the orthopaedic hospital, that cartilage transplant may be an option and may have put too much hope into this and I am now left feeling disappointed. I know I need to trust God's timing in this but it is very hard to see what the purpose of all this is at the moment.

Please pray for a positive outcome to my visit and also if anyone fancies accompanying me up to London, please let me know.

Car, Friends & Cheesecake!

Since my last post, I have picked up my car from the garage. It is a lovely car and very easy to drive and I love driving it.

Having the car now means that I have a level of independence back, being able to go where I want, when I want. However, I am learning that this is not always a good thing and this is where having good friends comes in.

On Sunday evening, I decided I would go to church, since I could now as I didn't need to worry about how I would get there and back! When I arrived, everything was fine...or so I thought. Towards the end of the sermon, I began to get a sharp pain behind my kneecap...it was horrible. My friends realised there was something wrong and began praying for me as well as making sure I was a comfortable as possible. It soon became clear that the reason I was in pain was because I had pushed myself too hard during the week and my knee wasn't happy.

It then came to deciding how I would get home from church as only mum and I are insured to drive my car and to call her out would not be fair on her or dad who would have to bring her. My friends decided that one of them would drive me home and the other would pick me up on Monday morning to take me to fetch my car.

My friend Michelle arrived on Monday morning and took me up to the church to fetch my car. We did this, dropped my car home and then Michelle took me over to Wokingham for coffee and lunch. It was such a lovely day and the cheesecake we had for dessert was the yummyist I've ever had! I felt like I was on holiday as we sat outside this lovely little italian restaurant. It was such a relaxed day and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

One of the things that came out of Sunday night is that I am not to apologise for needing help. I am to ask for it and receive it with thanks rather than feeling guilty that I am relying on people too much and putting people out. It became clear that I have friends who love me and will do anything they can to help and will lovingly tell me I am not driving home even when I think different!

So, I just want to take this opportunity to say thank you to all my lovely friends, family and church community. I think you're great!

Holding On.

Since March, I have been following a bible reading plan which will take me through the bible in a year. I have been following the same one as others that are part of Kerith Community Church. However, I got behind in April (but have been trying to catch up!) and have now got up to Ecclesiastes 9 and read these verses this morning, which in the light of what has been happening in the past week are relevant to where I am at now:

"When life is good, enjoy it.
But when life is hard, remember:
God gives good times and hard times,
and no one knows what tomorrow will bring." (Ecclesiastes 7:14, NCV)

"There is a right time and a right way for everything,
yet people often have many troubles.
They do not know what the future holds,
and no one can tell them what will happen." (Ecclesiastes 8:6-7, NCV)

Although I do not understand what God is doing with regard to the treatment for my knee, these help me to know that He is in control.

I am still holding on to the promise of Romans 8:28 which says:

"We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him." (NCV)

So for now, this will have to be enough for me to hold on to and know that God has only my best interests at heart.

On a lighter note, I will be going for a drive this afternoon in order to get used a left foot accelerator ready for when my car arrives in approximately 3 weeks!

A Tough Week

A lot has been happening since my last post with regard to hospital appointments.

I received a telephone call on Monday morning from my consultants secretary advising me that due to a letter received from my physio (which I had sent on to them due to the cancellation of my previous appointment) which advised that they were restricted with what they could do with me due to the pain I get in my knee, they have decided to write to my GP to refer me to the pain clinic and were cancelling my appointment.

I was not at all happy about this and having called the secretary back and explaining my situation I still came away with no appointment! I then called my physio and she advised that she would try to speak to the hospital for me to find out what they're doing.

I began to feel as though I may be making a fuss about nothing and maybe should just go to the pain clinic and see if it helps but at the end of the day it will just be treating the symptoms of the problem and not the problem itself. I have made an appointment with my GP to discuss my options.

I had a Hydro appointment yesterday which went well but anything I am able to do in the pool just keeps my knee moving the little it can but no matter how much I try it doesn't transfer on to land!

That's about it for now, but will keep you posted with updates.

Hope you're well.