Psalm 1:2

"They love the LORD's teachings, and they think about those teachings day and night. They are strong, like a tree planted by a river. The tree produces fruit in season, and it's leaves don't die. Everything they do will succeed."

A while ago, I was given a picture of a tree with no leaves. There is a season for everything and even in winter when the tree appears dead, it is preparing itself to bear fruit in the seasons to come. Although times may be difficult for me at the moment and not a lot seems to be happening, I believe God is using this time to prepare me for what is to come in the future.

A few days later, I was given a similar word and further explanation that part of preparation is learning to rely on and accept help from others and not feel guilty because I will need to be able to do this to be able to effectively carry out God's plans for my life.

I have no idea what God has planned for my future, but God is using my present situation. When I think about how far I have come, I feel like I have come a very short distance in my ability to ask for help without feeling guilty but realise that a simple 'thank you' is often enough.

I have realised however, that recently my bible reading has again gone downhill and in order to be who God wants me to be, I need to be soaked in his word so that I can grow. My plan is to start again with a clean sheet and read the bible in a year, but not just read it, let it speak to me too.

I was reminded again this morning that I need to set boundaries with regard to my phone, texting, emailing and facebook and so plan now to reimplement my not before 11am rule to make time to read my bible and to spend time listening to what God has to say.

I hope to post some of what God is sharing with me here and hope that you will join me on this journey.

Ruins

Ruins speak of history and stand as a monument to what has happened in the past. Nobody lives there anymore but people come to visit and find out what happened there as it plays a part and makes Britain what it is today.

We too, have ruins in our lives. Things that are in our past are there for a reason. We don't live there anymore but they contributed to making us who we are today. It is important to remember though that there are things in our past that unless they are dealt with, we will carry in to our future and they will continue to affect the way we live. I have just finished reading a book called The Shack and it said something I thought sums up what I'm trying to say:

Much can be remembered and learned by looking back, but only for a visit, not an
extended stay.

We need to be careful that we are not living life looking in the rear view mirror as unless we are looking through the windscreen, we are on a collision course. I recently heard it said that you will head towards whatever you fix your eyes on. So, rather than focussing on our problems or issues or our past,

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfector of our faith. Hebrews 12:2 (NIV)

Things That Make Me Smile!

This week has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and so rather than thinking about things that make me sad, I've chosen to think of things that made me smile this week and here are just a few of them.

• A cup of tea offered at just the right time
• A text asking if you want to go for dessert and chat with a friend you can be honest and yourself around.
• Vanilla Latte's!
• A friend who knows when you need a hug without asking.
• Knowing that God loves me no matter what and that he knows exactly what I'm going through.

I know that I just have to trust that God's timing is perfect and that he has a plan for me and can use me even though I may feel that I can't do many things I used to be able to do.

Here's to a better week.

Lemurs

Lemurs are quiet animals and have only two calls they all understand:

1. To warn of danger on the ground.

2. To warn of danger from the air.

This means that they have to listen carefully and take appropriate avoiding action if they are to escape a dangerous situation.

We too get warnings of danger - often from our conscience which tells us we should not put ourselves in that position or situation and also tells us when something is wrong. It is important to listen to what the Holy Spirit and your conscience say and to spend time talking with God who will communicate his will to us so that we can do what is required.

In my experience, I often find that this is expressed by a lingering niggle that makes me feel uncomfortable about doing something or a situation I'm in. I heard a message recently where the speaker used the phrase 'don't wriggle out of the niggle'. I think this hit the nail on the head as often we try to justify why we're thinking or feeling that way by asking ourselves who would know anyway. God would know!

Another thing about lemurs is that they have to trust each other. They have to trust that they are being given the correct instructions and we too need to trust that what God is telling us is for the best. We have to trust that the niggle is there for a reason and not give in to the temptation to say 'it's OK...no one's looking' because God is looking and he is looking at our responses to difficult situations.

Happy New Year!!!

I know it is February but this is the first post of this year so it seemed appropriate!!!

Apologies for not blogging sooner but I have been busy with Christmas and my op and also lacking inspiration.

My knee op 3 weeks ago went well. I was advised after the op that they had done something to my kneecap that might have solved the problem but that it would be a case of wait and see.

Well, 3 weeks on and I'm finding that my knee is not noticeably different to how it was before the op. I am still getting excruciating pain when I try to bend it and it is still extremely painful when I put my full weight through it when walking. Although this is disappointing, it is not the end of the line. I return to the hospital in March and will hopefully find out then what the next steps are.

That's about all for now but will post again soon once I've had some inspiration.

When you least expect it!!!!!

Something that I have been being reminded of recently is that God speaks to us through our everyday routine and activities.

I was first reminded of this about 3 weeks ago when my Word 4u 2day was looking at Moses and the burning bush (Exodus 3). It points out that Moses was just doing his job when he saw the bush that was on fire with God's presence. It goes on to say that

"in that moment, everything
depended on his willingness to interrupt his daily routine and make time for
God."

Moses turned aside and his life changed.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, I was reminded of this again as we were looking at Luke 1:1-45 in the Midweek Meeting at church. It was verse 45 that got me as it says

"blessed is she who has believed
that what the Lord has said to her will be
accomplished."

Mary was just going about her everyday life when the angel of the Lord came and spoke to her and told her that she was going to give birth to a son and whilst she was shocked, she was willing to believe and interrupt her daily routine. Mary turned aside and her life changed.

Yesterday, I was again reminded of this as we were looking at Luke 2:1-12 at the Midweek Meeting. In verses 8-12, an angel of the Lord appears to the shepherds to tell them of the birth of Jesus. Verse 8 says

"and there were shepherd living out in the fields near by,
keeping watch over their flocks at night."

The shepherds were just doing their job when God spoke to them. The shepherds turned aside and their lives changed.

These are just 3 examples of lives being changed by people being willing to put aside what they were doing to listen to God. How willing are we to put aside our routine to spend time listening to God? How often do we say to God, not now, I'm too busy?

This has got me thinking again that I need to be looking for what God is saying to me through my everyday and being willing to put aside my agenda.

I encourage you to look for God in your everyday too.

Operation

Just quick post to update you regarding the operation that was planned for this month. It has now been rescheduled to January 2010.

This is probably just as well as although I wondered what God was playing at by letting my op be postponed by a month, I now think I know why!

I spoke to the consultant's secretary last week as I was getting quite stressed as I didn't know what the op was (i.e. purely investigatory or work being done). She advised me that the consultant will be looking at my knee and seeing if the grafting is possible and if it is, then they will remove some cartilage from my good knee. This potentially means having both knees operated on at the same time!!!!

The cartilage that is removed from my good knee will then be grown in a lab for a few weeks before being implanted in to my bad knee. So the op in January will be the first of at least 2 ops and the start of a new recovery journey.