Two Way Traffic

I saw a road sign on my way home last night that I have passed many times before but last night it got me thinking. Here is a picture of it.

It means two way traffic straight ahead.   It got me thinking about prayer and how it's not a one way thing. It's not just about us talking to God and telling him what we want and need but also about God speaking to us.

In John 10 verses 27-28 Jesus says:

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me.  I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand." (NIV) 

 How often do I spend time listening to God? The answer is not as much as I should.  It is all to easy to just think of prayer as a one-way street where we just tell God everything that has gone wrong and what we think He should be doing but don't wait around long enough to hear his answer.  Doesn't make for a great relationship does it. If I treated my friends in this way I'm sure they would have a thing or two to say about it but God doesn't, He gently finds ways to remind us that prayer can and should be two-way traffic.

God is interested in every detail of your life, even the parts you think he might not care about. Prayer isn't about us getting what we want, it is about God's will being done.  A quote from John Piper says:

"God is most glorified when we are most satisfied".

Psalm 37 verse 4 says:

"Take delight in The Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (NIV)

It is often the case that when we spend time with God getting to know Him, our desires change to become His desires.  We begin to pray more for His will to be done rather for every thing for our own benefit.  We begin to see things from His perspective. 

We're doing a series at church at the moment on prayer.  This has got me thinking and realising that it's not about how we pray but who we pray to and that even if we don't know what to say, God knows what we need and He wants our hearts and a relationship with us.

My challenge is to spend more time listening and just being with God than filling all the silences with my voice!

Sabbath

Follwing on from my last post, I thought I would post some thoughts on the topic of sabbath.  Recently at church, Simon spoke on this topic and gave some thoughts about why sabbath is still relevant today.  We discussed this in more depth at Lifegroup last week and came up with some interesting thoughts on it.

I have realised that I am not very good at stopping or at finding a point in my day where even though there is still more to be done, I have done enough and I am happy to stop and rest.  I have often found myself studying until about 10pm before I shut down the computer - the TV might be on and I try to convince myself I am resting because I am enjoying what I am doing but in reality, I am not resting at all.

I also came to the realisation that I spend more time with God than I thought I did.  My morning routine includes this.  As I am getting up and ready for the day I have a worship CD on in my room which I will often sing along to...I thought nothing of this but actually this is time with God and allowing him to speak to me and starting the day with him.  I also end my day with God as I will often read my Word 4U 2day just before I switch my light out at night.  This made me realise that I do not have to be spending time reading my bible (which I am not very good at!) to be spending time with God but that I can be doing everyday things and talking to him throughout the day and he can be speaking to me too!

As an outcome of this, I have realised that I need to be more deliberate in giving myself the physical rest I need as although I am not able to work, there are still things that I need to get done during the day and I need to find a point in the day where I just decide that wherever I have got to on my 'To Do' list is fine...the world is not going to stop because I have not done it all and I can carry on with it tomorrow.

I also need to be careful about the things that I consider to be physical rest as not everything that is enjoyable to me is restful.  I enjoy my studying because it is on a subject I am passionate about but doing this is not restful as it requires me to concentrate hard and work hard.  It is WORK!

So, in addition to spending more time studying God's word as mentioned in my previous blog, I am also going to ensure that I stop work by a specific time everyday so that I can get the physical rest from work that I need and in doing this, it will free up some time for me to spend with God too.

Time with God

I have been learning a few things recently...yesterday, I was reading the book Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World and the chapter I was reading was talking about spending time with God and this has changed my perspective.

Joanna Weaver used the example in which Robert Boyd Munger describes how he showed Christ around the house of his heart and described each room.  The drawing room was a place Christ seemed pleased with and suggested that they met there often and had fellowship there and promised that each morning he would be there and they would start the day together.  Munger describes that morning after morning he would come down stairs and spend time reading the bible together and that Christ would tell him of its riches and unfold to him its truths and that they were wonderful hours spent together.  But...little by little the time got shortened and he began to miss a day and then began to miss it two days in a row or more.  Then, one morning he walked past the drawing room and saw that the door was ajar and he saw the Lord sitting there and asked if he had been there all the mornings he had missed.  Christ replied that he had had been there and told him he had said he would be there every morning.  Munger describes that he felt even more ashamed since He had been faithful in spite of his faithlessness and asked for His forgiveness.  The part that really spoke to me was this:

"He said, "The trouble with you is this:  You have been thinking of the quiet time, of the Bible study and prayer time, as a factor in your own spiritual progress, but you have forgotten that this hour means something to Me also.""

I have learnt that not only do I need to spend time with God for me to grow spiritually but also that God wants to spend time with me and the time I spend with him means something to him too.

I have also been reading about spending time with God in my daily readings this week.  On Wednesday it was talking about worship as a way of life, focussing on Romans 12:1:

"Take your everyday, ordinary life - your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life - and place it before God as an offering." (The Message). 

The Word 4u 2day explains that you love someone by spending quality time with them, by taking an interest, by sharing secrets, desires, ups and downs and that falling in love with God is the same.  Then , on Thursday, it talks about how Jesus managed to keep his cool during the stresses and strains of life and quotes Mark 1:35:

"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where He prayed."

It states that Jesus lived in solitude as much as he did in the limelight and suggests that spending time alone with God is an essential prescription against stress.

I have realised recently that I am not very good at spending time alone with God but the combination of everything I have read this week has made me realise how important it is to ensure that I have space in my everyday life to spend time talking with God about anything and everything...not only is he concerned about any big decisions I have to make but also in the little things that I might think are insignificant.

Over the next two weeks, I have been challenged to spend some time meditating on a bible verse that relates to my barriers to intimacy with God and hope that doing this will develop in to a more regular time that I spend with God.

Update

Since my last post, I have had an appointment with the consultant and pain clinic confirmed for 4th April so prayers that it goes well would be very much appreciated.

I have also had some encouraging conversations with people and meet up every 2 weeks with a group of lovely girls to encourage one another, build relationship with one another and support one another. I feel I have already benefitted from meeting up like this.

I spent last weekend with my sister and brother in law and we attended their church on the Sunday morning where the pastor was talking about the church and that it should not just be for the middle classes but for everyone. This is so true and I really believe that church needs to engage with the community around it.

I went to Kerith on Sunday evening and we have just started a series on the Old Testament starting with Genesis 1 and 2 and that it is not so fundamental how God created but why he created. God created so that there is a place where we can share community with Him and so that we can know what it is to love and be loved.

Relentless

On Sunday, Simon spoke about reviving dreams and dreaming big and taking the next step in making our dreams happen. This really spoke to me as this is what I had done in September when I started studying to become a Legal Executive specialising in Employment Law.

I had previously looked in to doing a legal qualification as I had always enjoyed the employment law side of working in Human Resources but had put this to one side as it did not feel right at the time. When I was on holiday in August, I was prompted to look again at this and I signed up to a distance learning course which means that I can fit my studying around when I feel up to it and have no weekly tutorials at college but access to tutors during the working day who are there to support and answer queries that come up whilst studying and I also have the forum where I can chat with other students so I know I am not alone.

I submitted my first study exercise in October and achieved 90% which I was extremely suprised at and pleased with. My second study exercise was submitted in December and I achieved 86% for that one which again I was extremely pleased with. I then sat my first exams last week but have to wait until the end of March for the results.

Getting to my first exam was not without problems though. I got to Waterloo with no problem, found my way to the entrance to the Jubilee line which was closed and I was directed to another entrance to the underground to be greeted by a long queue for the Jubilee line. I then went the long way round, nearly getting 'cattle hearded' in to the Waterloo & City line and finally made it to the platform. An announcement then came over the tannoy system that there were severe delays on the Jubilee line and to find an alternative route. It was approximately 8.35am at this point.

I eventually made it to Farringdon station at about 9.05am but managed to turn the wrong way at the end of the road and spoke to a policewoman at 9.15am who advised me that I needed to go back to where I had come from and keep going. After that, I began my walk, crying and praying as I knew there was no way I could walk that distance in time. I got back to the road I had originally come out of and asked again for directions and was given very helpful directions. I arrived at the exam centre at 9.20am. I know God intervened as I looked again on the Wednesday and there is no way I could have walked that distance in 5 minutes even if I did not have knee problems!

I am still at the start of living out my dream of becoming an Employment Lawyer but in taking the next steps, God has been revealing the next one to me as I go along.  I know that as I follow God's guidance, he will reveal more of His plan for my life to me.

Since Sunday, I have had the word 'relentless' in my thoughts.  I found a wristband with this word on in a drawer on Saturday and then on Sunday evening at church began thinking about what it meant.  I have come to the conclusion that I need to be relentless in pursuing the dreams God has given me and persevering even when things seem too difficult.  I need to not let any obstacles get in the way of me pursuing what God has for me.

I am now wearing the wristband as it is a constant reminder of this and when things begin to feel too much, I just need to look to God to help me through and trust that he will never leave me.

I'm Back

Well, it has been about six months since I last posted and since then, I have been on two holidays, had hospital appointments, become a student again and Christmas has been and gone.

My knee problems are still ongoing and recently, it has been particularly painful. In September, I went back to see the physio who advised that I am doing the right things by working on maintaining the progress I made whilst in hospital in June but that at the moment, there is not a lot more she can advise until the consultant decides what the next step is.

I saw the consultant in November and he has advised that he wants a meeting with me and the pain team to discuss whether there is any more the pain team can do for me and if not, he will resurface my knee cap. He has told me that the damage in my knee is limited to my knee cap and the rest of my knee is fine. I am currently waiting for this appointment to come through but am hoping that it will be sometime before the end of February.

In September, I started studying for an employment law qualification. This decision came from a car journey on holiday when I suddenly, completely out of the blue, had a thought that I should look in to doing a legal qualification again (I will go in to more detail in my next post.). I took my first two exams last week and will get the results at the end of March.

I think that is about everything up to date, so will leave it there for this post but definitely will not leave it six months before my next one.

Psalm 1

We were challenged at church this week to make time during the week to spend 15 minutes reflecting on Psalm 1 and I thought I'd share some of what I got from it here.

Verse 1 - I need to be looking at the people I take advice from.  Are they people who will seek to build me and encourage me or are they people who will take me down?  Do they help me to draw closer to God or do they put barriers in the way of me drawing closer to God?

Verse 2 - 'Day and night' - all the time - he lives it - it's constant!  This challenges me because often spending time reading my bible and chatting with God feels like a chore...it shouldn't be like this...I should be including God in my everyday. He wants to be a part of all my life, not just some of it! In Ephesians 6 verse 18 it says:

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests."

Verse 3 - To me, this speaks of living where there is life.  The tree is planted by the river and can therefore drink of that source of water in order to grow.  I think this is the same for us.  If we are spending time reading the bible and communicating with God, we are living by the source of life.  We shouldn't be waiting for sunday preaches but spending time with God on a constant basis.  In some ways, this is a repetition of verse 2 but using a different way of getting the point across.

When I was looking at this Psalm, I read it in both the NIV and NCV and for this verse, I liked that the NCV said 'succeed' at the end of the verse rather than 'prosper'.  Prosper for me immediately makes me think of financial prosperity but this is not what the writer is saying.  Prosperity can come in many ways, emotional prosperity, spiritual prosperity, as well as financial.  When we spend time in God's word, we will prosper spiritually and we will succeed at what we do as we will be learning what pleases God and doing those things rather than following our own agendas.

Verses 4-6 - I'm not going to comment too much on these verses except to say that God is a God of justice and that his ways are perfect.  If we decide to live according to his purposes then our lives will bear fruit and God will be watching over us, guiding and protecting us.

This Psalm is particularly relevant to me at the moment as I beginning a new chapter in my life and it has encouraged me to be studying my bible and talking to God about my hopes and dreams for the future and asking Him to reveal his plans and purposes to me so that I will succeed and prosper.