In my last post, I mentioned that I had got completely out of the routine I started earlier on in the year and that two friends had agreed to keep me accountable.
Well, Monday was the first day of my fresh start. So far, it has been going well but feel as though I may have tried to push myself too hard which means that today I am feeling very tired.
When I think about the problems with my knee, I look at them as purely physical but in fact, there are other factors involved. I forget that it takes me more energy to be able to do things than it used to and that I get tired quicker (this one I don't quite understand but need to acknowledge that it is there).
I have tried to fill my days with reading, bible study, studying books that will help when I finally come to a point where I can think about working again and meeting up with people for coffee. The last two days, I have got to lunchtime and felt completely exhausted and have realised that I was trying to fill every 30 minute slot in my day (9am-5pm) with something and forgetting that I need time to STOP! I know you could say that my stop time is in the evenings but what about those evenings that I have something planned for?
I have also realised that for Monday to Thursday, I planned to go out during the day and so need to be up at 7.30am so mum can help me get dressed before she goes to work meaning that I am unable to have any lie-in and have busy days planned.
Although I know my friends only want to help me to get the most from my days and I agree that structure is good, I think that I need to revisit this and understand my limitations and work within them.
I am a perfectionist which means that when I do something, I do it to the best of my ability and want to do it well so having to work within the limitations my knee puts on my life at the moment is difficult but I am still trusting God's promise that he is preparing me during this time for something I am going to do in the future that I don't have a clue about yet! I am also still believing that
Well, Monday was the first day of my fresh start. So far, it has been going well but feel as though I may have tried to push myself too hard which means that today I am feeling very tired.
When I think about the problems with my knee, I look at them as purely physical but in fact, there are other factors involved. I forget that it takes me more energy to be able to do things than it used to and that I get tired quicker (this one I don't quite understand but need to acknowledge that it is there).
I have tried to fill my days with reading, bible study, studying books that will help when I finally come to a point where I can think about working again and meeting up with people for coffee. The last two days, I have got to lunchtime and felt completely exhausted and have realised that I was trying to fill every 30 minute slot in my day (9am-5pm) with something and forgetting that I need time to STOP! I know you could say that my stop time is in the evenings but what about those evenings that I have something planned for?
I have also realised that for Monday to Thursday, I planned to go out during the day and so need to be up at 7.30am so mum can help me get dressed before she goes to work meaning that I am unable to have any lie-in and have busy days planned.
Although I know my friends only want to help me to get the most from my days and I agree that structure is good, I think that I need to revisit this and understand my limitations and work within them.
I am a perfectionist which means that when I do something, I do it to the best of my ability and want to do it well so having to work within the limitations my knee puts on my life at the moment is difficult but I am still trusting God's promise that he is preparing me during this time for something I am going to do in the future that I don't have a clue about yet! I am also still believing that
"...in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28 NIV)
So although this may be a difficult season for me, I believe that it will also be a season of growth.
I am a bit like you too...routine easily gets out of synch and I realise that the days have been full of nothings.....I am always so grateful for fresh starts.....
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